Not even when you are buying toys for them. I was reminded of this when shopping yesterday. A family had come to shop with their little daughter and this little girl Sees something she likes and tells her father she wants it. Dad says no. The girl insists. Dad says no and the girl starts screaming, flinging items on display off the shelves . . . It was embarrassing for the family. A discipline issue yes but even if your kid isn't as bad as this one, kids can nag you so much that you have to buy them something which isn't on your shopping list. Even if you say no and mean it, it won't make for a pleasant shopping experience having to walk around with a grumpy child.
It's hard when they're small; they just don't understand the concept of money and "not having everything you want". So it's important to guide them through it, rather than losing all site of what's going on and taking it as a discipline issue. Children are not born with the rules, you have to introduce them. Keeping them from these situations altogether doesn't teach them anything at all. Sure, maybe if you're pressed for time.. but a regular shopping trip or something, it's a good thing to bring your child along as much as possible to introduce them to the real world and the big bag of rules and norms they'll be weighed down with over time. We can't just expect them to behave "appropriately" from the get go.. or even after telling them a couple times how it is. Grown adults still have hissy fits, we shouldn't expect more from a child than most adults still can't handle
Well, that's just it isn't it. Chilldren don't know what the rules are do they? Now I can't abide displays such as the one @Denis Hard describes, the accompanying sound is generally ear-splitting but I'm pretty sure that a "No" needs to come with an (age-appropriate) explanation of why not. If someone tells me "No", then I want to know why so it won't be any different for a kiddie. Wouldn't simply giving in and letting the child have the item just reinforce the idea that they can get what they want by kicking off?
Well I think it depends on how well behaved the child is and how they are brought up. Some cheaper stores you will find children all over the place and the parents do nothing. In upmarket places, the parents will tell them off or keep a tight rein on them. In the UK children shopping in Waitrose (upper market) are quieter and generally well behaved as opposed to Lidl or Morrisons, or Aldi where children crash into me and scream and shout. I usually shop quickly and get out because of them.
The kids in our family are disciplined but even they were subject to tantrums when they were younger when we passed by toys that they wanted to buy. We aren't that far off from their age though so I can still remember my days when I was that young and wanting to buy certain toys, so I can empathize. At that age there is just not much you can do that will give you the same feeling of taking home a brand new toy and being excited to open it and play with it. Although these days I imagine it's much easier for kids since there is so much other types of distraction available.
This is an excellent point, and an excellent tactic that I don’t see enough parents employ, hence leading to mega tantrums. I myself was a pretty well-behaved kid, never pitched a fit in a shop, and I largely think it’s because I was always given an explanation of why not whenever I was told no. And sure, it didn’t necessarily make me happy, I’m positive I still sulked about not getting what I wanted, but at least I had a valid explanation and therefore it was something to ponder.
Explanations don't work on children that don't necessarily understand language yet.. and the concept of money etc as I mentioned above. This is when you start seeing parents flip out as well, ignore it or just cave and buy the toy.. all of which will just lead to more tantrums and the child being labelled as "bad" or "spoiled". Unfortunately, it's the "parenting" that usually leads to the type of children we're talking about here. Kids aren't born "bad" or "spoiled".
Parents usually know how their kids are, so they should know better to bring or not bring their kid to the store. The parents should just say to their kid that they shouldn't point at objects they want and just keep quiet if they see something that they like. It usually works if the kid is reasonable and obedient to begin with.
My one year old son seems to know tantrums very well. Whenever we go to the toy store like Toys R Us, oh my gosh, you can't imagine how hard it is to leave the store when he is with us. LOL. When he sees a toy he likes (case in point: cars), he won't leave that place. We cannot even scour the area because he is glued to that particular toy. It's funny and annoying at the same time. Haha! So lesson learned: do not bring him to the toy store!
Children do have to be taught the rules and what behavior is acceptable when out. Leaving them at home to avoid being looked at funny when they act out is not the answer. Children have to be taken out and taught how to act and that they can not have everything they see at the store. It is hard for the parents to be in a room with a screaming kid when they want to act out.
It really sucks when your kid throws a tantrum in the store and all eyes are suddenly on you. It is embarrassing and makes you feel like a bad parent. My daughter has done this before on multiple occasions when she was much younger. But now she's almost 4 and is a lot better about it. I love to take our kids shopping with us. But it's better if they're in the cart the whole time. My daughter will run around the store and get in other people's ways and grab a bunch of stuff off the shelf and put it in the cart. She puts stuff in the cart anyway even if she's in the cart and can reach the shelf, but it's so much better to have the kids in the cart! I hate having to tell her more than once to stop running around and to stay close. But they need to learn how to act out in public and at the store so it's not right to not take them with you in fear that they'll throw a tantrum. Just explain to them they can't have it and they need to be nice. They can't grab things and if you tell them no, that's it. Also it's good to explain BEFORE you go into the store how they're expected to behave. I have found that's helped my daughter behave as well.
