What to do when you dislike your family.

Its very sad that someone could dislike their family so much that they wouldn't want to help them in their time in need or wouldn't want to spend time with them. To me my family is very important, and even more so since my dad passed away. The odd times when we have had problems with each other we make sure that we resolve the matter as quickly as possible before it gets out of hand. I would miss my family terribly if they weren't around.

 

Everyone has different situations and some families are easier to deal with than others. I am fortunate to have a good family but I know a lot of people that don't. You can pick your friends but you cannot pick your family. You should not feel like you HAVE to do anything, it should be because you want to do it.

 

When my family got to be overwhelming, I moved thousands of miles away. It's a sad state of affairs, but not every family is loving. Some are suffocating. I moved back to my home city a couple of years ago. I would consider moving again, but I love my church and would be hard pressed to leave it. Unfortunately, I have no easy tips as I'm working through the same challenges.

 

My family and I are very close. So close, in fact, that we all live within a 5-minute drive of one another. The only person in my family that is hard to be around for more than 10 minutes is my dad, even though I love him dearly. He is the most negative person I've ever known. How my mom has put up with his pessimistic attitude for over 50 years is beyond me! But he is getting up there in age (he'll be 82 this month) and is starting to repeat things he just told us. The doctor's done tests and says it's not alzheimer's, he's just forgetful. It's hard to see them change like this, and even though he can get on my nerves with his bad attitute, I try to remind myself to cherish the time I have left with him now because, most likely, I'll only have another 10 years or so left with him. And we all know how quickly 10 years can go by.

 

Sorry to bring up an old post. I am a firm believer that blood does NOT make a family. I consider family to be those who treat you as such and makes your life better just by being a part of it. Blood means you're related. It might mean something to people generations from now, trying to figure out their blood line, but today, to you, family is what you make it. I don't believe anyone has an obligation to anyone else unless those people add to your life, not take from it or cause any sort of negativity or drama. Life is too short and if they don't see that, you concentrate on spending time with those who do. Don't beat yourself up about it, it's not easy to stay away from those society tells you you must stand by. Maybe someday they will change their ways, but until then, your happiness should come first.

 

But you never understand how over bearing and negative none loving a certain family can be. People think that it's so easy to kiss and make up at the end of the day just because they probably have a great relationship with them and it's not like that with some families. Your situation and their situation is different my family makes me boiling mad sometimes, to point I have to just love them from a distance. If it takes one living without some family to live a positive and happy life then that's just what has to happen.

 

Not everyone can like their family. You have family members who sexually abuse, physical abuse, or steal from other relatives. And even worse stuff than that. How about going to apply for a credit card only to find out drug-addicted mom or thieving dad have already got one in your name, and ran up the bill when you were like 12 years old? How can you like your parents after they've ruined your life?

 

I don't think you should have to spend time with family if you don't get along or dislike them I know I have some family members I dislike and I don't talk to them or hang out with them none of that why try an force something ya know

 

I am one for really disliking my family, but i end up helping them around when they need because... eh, if they dealt with me until now, i at least have the respect for that. Not that i am too happy to oblige to that, but oh well...

 

It's really complex issue. You cannot chose your family, but you chose your friends. So you are stuck with the family for life. But, are you really obliged to spend time with them? Do you put up with other people whom you do not like and who are not your family? If yes, do you have good reasons for that? Has your family helped you in your time of need? If yes, than you should help them too. Listen to you conscience.

 

I am very close with my family. I have never had any major arguments with them and would rather be with them most of the time than be here too far away from them in another country. I have always been proud of my family. We're not rich or don't have a lot of money but they are my treasure and has always been happy. Friends for me would always come and go, but my family would always stick with me thru thick or thin. I grew up in a culture wherein family comes first more than anyone else (most kids still try to help out the family even if they're already married and have families of their own). It's probably why most of the people of my country value our families so much more than friends. We Filipinos are known for that. They said that if you marry a Filipino, you will be marrying their entire family as well.

 

For me, family is very important. Although conflicts and complaints cannot be avoided, i never hate my family.

 

By family, do you mean like your parents and siblings or your cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc.? If it's the latter, then it's easier to just not be in touch with them (and maybe not attend family reunions). I think we all have a particular member of our family who we don't really get along with, but only have to see every once in a while. If it's the former, though, then it's not as easy to avoid them. I know most people say that you have to learn to accept your family and all that, but all families different.

 

True, I was abused by my mother so I never speak to her and don't need her in my life.
You don't have to allow someone into your life just because they're related to you. Being family doesn't give them a free pass to be negative and evil and suck the life out of you. As far as I'm concerned, my daughter and my friends are all the family I need.

 

To tell you the truth I just try my best to ignore my family when they do something I dislike. I still hang out with them, participate, call them often, visit etc... but when I get irked I choose to ignore it to avoid confrontation. Everyone is different and it's better to just respect everyone's lifestyle and move on.

 

There are some family members I do not talk to or see because they don't respect me. If they aren't worth having in your life--kick them out of it.

 

I personally think it is extremely hard to live in peace and to be content with life in general when you dont like your family.
The best option wouod be to really find what the problem is and adress it to your family.
Many people deal with tghese types of issues by just being out of the house or hanging out with freidns but that to me is a short term answer not an long term solution.

 

But when you've been "out of the house" for years? Or tried to get to the bottom of things many times over? I agree with those that say to figure it out. Definitely, if the problems are problems because they've being ignored, it's time to speak up. You should never cut ties with people who were never given the chance to make it right.

 

I began to dislike my family around the time I graduated from high school. My remedy: I moved away and called on major holidays and birthdays. It's hard but sometimes you have to give yourself time to be apart from your family so that you let yourself cool down and remember why you love your family. I haven't seen my family in 3 years. I need the time apart from them. My family has too much drama.