When I reached the age thirteen I was pretty much buying my own clothes and feeding myself. In my city at that age no one would rent me a house for myself so I felt like I was forced to live with my mother and I thought that was wrong. Now lets not forget that I did everything for myself except paid rent and that was by rules of the state law. I never thought that that was fair, I mean if a girl have a child at that age she can get a house and I couldn't. Its like if I can go and fight in a war as a soldier of the USA at the age 17 or 18 but I got to wait until I get 21 to celebrate with a nice cold beer! I just don't think that's right. I believe if your're old enough to show the responsibility to provide and make wise decision for your own well being then you should be considered an adult.
Some kids are exceptionally smart and have high IQ's and unusually mature. It looks like you were one of those advanced, mature kids. But if they changed the rules to declare 13 year olds adults, there would be a lot of homeless 13 year olds panhandling and stealing, because your average 13 year old cannot take care of themselves or pay rent on an apartment. The 13 year olds I know, know how to play video games and microwave Hot Pockets. It would be irresponsible to tell them "Go work for 40 hours and get your own apartment, then you can have a beer." It's my responsibility to take care of my child until she's 18, and keep her out of danger and give her guidance. I was a neglected child and left in charge of my brothers and sisters while my mother went off to play with men. I was mature. That doesn't mean I think all 11 year olds should be declared adults.
If you can already stand on your own two feet, not depend on your parents or other people anymore. If you can already make wise decisions in life and be responsible for them, then I think that makes you an adult already.
The only problem is, you can learn to fend for yourself and feel a sense of responsibility without being fully developed. Granted everyone grows at a different pace, but a boy going through puberty still has similar tendencies as any other boy going through puberty based on what is going on in their bodies and minds on a biological level. When the mind is right, the body is right and a person is truly self sufficient, I consider them an adult.
Different cultures view teenagers-adults in a different way. From my observations, certain European countries tend to accept teenagers as being adults at a younger age. That's reflected in the laws at which you can drink, get married and so on. The vast majority of countries allow you to buy alcohol at 18; some even younger. Whether you're actually mature enough is always going to be open to debate.
Some people mature faster and are more mature that others at a young age. You may hear a person say that person has an old soul. Some people 50 years old still act like teenagers so age has nothing to do with when are you an adult, that is really a hard question to answer. My 18 year old grandson maybe an adult in age but not mature enough to take care of his self or anyone else right now.
When I was 21 I was afforded nearly all of the "legal" responsibilities America has to offer, but I'm not sure I would have considered myself a fully responsible adult at that time. Age is just a number and experience counts for everything. That said, I agree with the laws on drinking age and stuff like that. As far as buying and renting and getting major loans goes, I also agree with credit reports and scores and taking precautions not to put young people in debt they cannot handle.
There is something that comes with age, something you can't learn by "knowing" it (reading it in a book somewhere. About the military-vs.-drinking age-question, what's being considered is decision-making (and maybe 'the growth required to handle alcohol'---I dunno). In the military, I can't think of any decision-making required (full-disclosure: I have zero military-experience) I don't think they're going to ask you if you WANT to march, clean, 'drop and give me 20!' etc. By 21, you know enough to either make the right decision or take responsibility for the consequences of the wrong action. If I were to answer the question without considering the 'description,' I would say that "what makes you an adult" is 'having people depend on you'---usually, that means 'being parent to a child'; but there are lots of other responsibilities you have to manage first/as-well---good-child/sibling/co-worker/student/friend/roommate/etc.
Well I don't believe it is even legal to work at 13, so I don't see how a 13 year can earn a legal salary to be considered an adult. A 13 year old may be emotionally mature because of life circumstances, but they are still not an adult. They have just hit puberty and are not even done physically growing. They might think the know a lot from life experiences, but hormonally they are still just growing children. I think by age 18 you are pretty much grown.
I think you are an adult when you have experienced enough life lessons that you begin to apply them and show maturity and wisdom in your life choices. This can happen at different times for different people. I do think it is more then working and providing though. How do you treat others, how do you handle situations? There is a level of self respect and respect for others that indicates someone's maturity level.
I disagree. Because I've learned PLENTY of life-lessons, and their application (and/or mis-application) has landed me 'living like a recluse.' But no one looks at 'me' as an authority. That is when 'the experience & maturity' make me an "adult"---when people seriously regard my advice/example as 'constructive to their decision-making processes'
Being considered an adult has no specific age attached, in my opinion. I know many so called "adults" that are in their 30's and 40's who are simply ridiculous. They have children that they don't take care of. They are incapable of being in a committed relationship. Instead of paying bills, they use their money on popping bottles and strippers so they end up moving in with their mother. Its just a sad case. When a person is responsible, has their priorities in line, they do what needs to be done and not always what they want to do then that is considered an adult.
What's fiscally irresponsible about living with your mother? I guess 'doing it`coz you have to' is a sign of irresponsibleness, but ... it actually seems MORE responsible to me---adding your own income to hers, saving on rent-etc.
My daughter is welcome to live with me even after she is an adult. I think that the other poster was saying that she knows people who are stuck living with their parents because they spent all their money on strippers and booze. That's a completely different situation and not fair to the parents.
If the intended purpose for living with your parents is to help take care of them, it is to be commended. But, if it is a college issue....move to the dorms. If it is a "lack of control" issue. Get into a mission program. But, since you do tout the Christian by line on your posts, you really need to take a second look at what a man is really all about. There is nothing anywhere in the Bible that says that since Johnny is a screw up that he should stay home with mama. He needs to love and respect God, and himself enough to get out and do what a man does. ( women are a tad, understandably, different in the texts) The Biblical view is that a man (to totally paraphrase) should seek out a woman, and prepare a place for her. If you read Proverbs chapter 31, it doesn't have anything to say about mom and dad. Just the wife and the husband. In other words, start his own family away from his parents. They have already done their job, now it is up to you to do your Biblical works. Having a free ride because Johnny cannot control himself is not in the books, and thank God it isn't!!
Don't rush to be an adult, enjoy being a child for as long as you can. If you think about it this way you really have a very short span in your life where you are a child (legally). Being all grown up is not all it is cracked up to be. OP like you I was self sufficient for quite sometime when I was young. I could not wait to get out on my own and do my own thing. That came at a cost, while at the time I felt like I was being all grown up and responsible, in hindsight I now see where I missed out on some important things that I can never get back. I never liked limits, if I was grown up enough to work, to buy my things and pay bills I felt like I should get to have all the perks. Sometimes life is just that way and there's not much we can do about it. In that time my family needed me to be grown up. It made me hate my childhood. Now there are days I wish I did not feel so responsible for everything and everyone. Being pushed to young to be grown up sometimes does not allow for a person to just learn to be dependent. It is a heavy weight to bear going through life feeling like you have to be responsible and adult. It does take the mind sometime to have enough information and experience to manage adult world decisions. I do believe if we try to be adult to fast we make many choices based on fear, like fear of starving or fear of failure, and we lose out on learning the more subtle things that our peers that do not have that pressure learn. This makes a huge difference in how decision making is approached.
Where I come from, you are legally regarded as an adult when you are 18 years old. You are allowed to get drive a car, drink alcohol, smoke, get married, and so on. I left my home when I was 16 years old. I went to work in a hotel in a ski resort where I received accommodation at my work place. That's when I left home forever. I never returned, I just kept on going, and still do so.
Even in my place, when you are 18 you definitely become an adult. But I do not think anyone can mentally become an adult just like that. I believe being mature is one of the key factors if becoming an adult.
