I have three children - two boys aged 12 and 9 and a little girl aged 3. While they tend to get on well when all together, my boys have recently started bickering to a point that makes me uncomfortable. I know you have to expect some arguing between siblings but this has got to the point where the exchanges are quite aggressive and I am seriously worried if I don't do something they will end up hurting each other. I put much of the behavior down to age, my eldest has recently become moodier than in the past but I am concerned I am missing an underlying issue - even though talking to them both has not revealed anything. Any ideas how to approach this?
It more than likely has to do with the ages...especially the 12 year old, who is now rapidly approaching 'teen-wood'. There would be a lot going on, and perhaps he is just needing firmer boundaries between him and his brother (for now, while he forms his new teenage persona). I may very well be wrong. You sound like a great mother as you are actually observing the behavior and mood changes now already. Also watch out for what he communicates to you in other ways: indirectly basically. Hormones are very possibly wreaking havoc with him right now, nothing that space and understanding won't be able to solve. All the best with this and I am sure that it will all be fine. I am not a mom, but I taught that age group for a number of years.
I think your eldest is dealing with the onset of puberty and you know how hormones affects the mood of an individual so I guess you should talk to him and make him understand what he's going through. Same as to your 2nd son. You should make them understand the situation and just try to give them the things that could make them happy.
I have the same issues with 10 and 8 year old girls. Its constant bickering and name calling and even gets physical. Since we don't act that way in out house it has really thrown me for a loop. I worry about my younger kids picking up on it and behaving that way too.
My 9 year old and 7 year old boys are very competitive with eachother. When they bicker I seperate them and don't allow them near eachother. They end up wanting to hang out with eachother and talk. You always miss what's not around. They definately do.
