Depends on the girl. If they are looking for a challenge, they might be more attracted to the shy guy who seems to present a challenge for her attention. If they are looking for someone to be their "rock" and a protector, I can assure you that they won't want a guy that is afraid to speak up, but would rather go for the bold, confident type of guy. Generally speaking, they will go for the confident guy.
Okay, first off: Shy should not equal no spine. And Confident should not equal cocky. I say Confident because we women always want a guy to "Have our back". Shy guys don't normally speak up. If a guy can be confident without being cocky, condacending, or just plain rude, I would choose confident.
It's all a question of what the girl is attracted to. I personally like a combination of both, confident in some areas and perhaps a bit insecure in other aspects. But Most people are combination of just that. As for some extremely shy and repressed guy, I don't know if I had the patience to bring him out of his hole. On the other hand, I couldn't stand being with somebody who is constantly brimming with confidence and, worse even, trying to give me advice on everything.
I have always liked over confidant assholes for some reason. I think I have found a good medium though. My current boyfriend is quite cocky, but when he is around other people he is very quiet.
It depends on the personality of the female. Most girls go for confident guys. No one wants a sissy or insecure guy. Nerdy guys come to mind first when I think about shy guys.
I agree with most comments above. I am more introverted myself, and so would go for someone who is somewhat less socially outgoing, but not someone who needs constant hand-holding. I think it depends a lot on the personality of the female, and what she's been exposed to. I can't stand cocky and/or controlling people of either sex, so that would be a turn off, but I definitely want a guy who will strong when I need him to be there for me.
Confidence is sexy, plain and simple. A shy guy staring at his feet, afraid to make eye contact, let alone approach someone, is not going to be very successful. A confident (NOT arrogany) guy who is outgoing will always attract more attention and get more dates.
If I can extend this discussion a little bit... Do you like a macho or a slender guy? someone with a manly face or a cute face? Just be assured and assume both are hot in their face. A tall man or a short or medium guy. How much of looks matter to a girl? WOW! This is an interesting topic and ever will be.. Please be honest with your views. Thank you! To the original poster, No, I don't want to hijack your thread, just wanna connect a bit more with the lovely ladies here. Thanks!
I think it's partly about what is the "ideal" for a certain period of time. If we look back 30, 40, or 50 years, beauty ideals were different. Although ideals might make you generally, or by average, more attractive. I think that there is so much more to human interaction and attraction than just your outside. And that is why I believe confidence, not the kind where a muscular man walks without his shirt of chatting up all the girls.. no.. I'm talking about the kind of confidence, where you are comfortable in your own skin, with your life decisions. In essence, you are naked in front of others, with no layers of bullshit. Just you, being happy with who you are, what you've achieved, what your face looks like, and how your body is. Of course someone could always argue, "But what if you are incredibly ugly?" Still, if that person accepts that, and is ok with it, they will be happier. Doesn't mean they'll have an EASY life. Just a little bit better.
Macho is an attitude and has nothing to do with looks; that said, confidence is "manly", someone who's overdoing it on the machismo is not attractive. Slender to fit is ideal; too skinny is no more attractive than too heavy. "Cute" in the face suggests youth, like a boy and is therefore not sexy, whereas attractive faces come in many different packages. As a tall-ish woman, I like tall men.
Oh, you make my day. Thanks for your viewpoint. I'm a tall man and I enjoy all the attention in the world. I'm not slender though, a bit on the heavier side and I shall try to shrink myself up, lol. Well, as a matter of fact, men too crave for looks and love the attention of beautiful ladies. It infuses more life into a life and brings about a great atmosphere all round. Thank you ChannellG.
You're welcome! Men should remember that even though attractive comes in all shapes and sizes, they should strive to be fit and healthy. I used to coordinate singles events and the biggest complaint the women had about the men was so many were couch potatoes.
