Log In it should be so-limited, but isn't too specific as to 'why not the other way `round.' She writes:That looks 'hypocritical' to me ... maybe I'm a 'male feminist,' but I think that--as women want to be given 'equal wages in employment'--they ought to want 'equal headship, equal take-charge' in the family. Personally, I don't 'make wages'; so I feel that I need a woman to ASK ME OUT. (I see 'asking out' as sort of 'inviting to a party for two that you are hosting'; and--as I can't pay--I can't fulfill the 'host'-role thereby implied.) And I don't feel the need to 'invest a significant amount of time & money to show my genuine masculinity & respect for the woman who has taken the time to ask me'; a guy only needs a shower & a splash of Old Spice to 'show genuine masculinity,' & I 'respect her' by saying "yes" & showing-up So in summary, I feel that 'the one who has the power to host the date' (power given by employers, inheritance, whatever) should be the one to ask.
I do agree that the article is sexist and old fashioned. It's not wrong for a woman to ask a man out or even pay. But what are you going to do for her besides shower and put on cologne? Even on dates, the woman sometimes cooks at her home or brings a picnic lunch. Are you going to cook for the woman or at least bring the wine? It's not attractive when either sex does all the taking and contributes nothing. It's not even cute when women are gold diggers. Neither person in the partnership should be a leech.
It's quite an old societal expectation that the guy is supposed to ask out the girl, but I agree, it shouldn't be up to the guy because as guys usually learn the hard way; it's very difficult to sometimes try and understand what women are trying to convey with their body language and such. It usually puts the pressures on guys, which I don't think is fair. Just think of all the times you learn that a girl you had a crush for also liked you back, but you had no idea so you didn't ask her out.
Back when I was dating, if I asked a guy out, I would expect to be the one to pay. If a guy asked me out, I would assume he would be paying but would take money "just in case." I have to say, I asked the man who became my husband out for out first date. I can still picture the moment, and his response after a brief silence, "Far out." 20 years later (to the date, actually), we are still very happily married. I'm glad I made that step and asked him out.
