Surprisingly, there aren't many clubs that specifically cater to people over 35. I'm in the library/bookstore all the time and no one wants to socialize...just read. Got over a bad relationship and illness in the past year...so what to do? Currently, I'm in school full time but everyone there is about 25 or younger. The few people I've seen over 40 look or move like they're 70, no disrespect. But here's the kicker on my end... My ex was such a jealous hole that he not only blocked my calls from anyone who wasn't family but he trashed my phone book. He would manipulate conversation so that I would talk to him all the time for the first few years under one roof. Oh yeah, and because I'm transitioning from serious illness, I had to move back home. Mom hangs around The House all the time, moans about everything, and only goes out to help my grammie (who was the complete opposite until recently). So even if I met somebody, we couldn't go to my place for a nightcap. Which leads me to a new factor. People are crazy. When I was younger and had my own studio, a few guys tried to move in with me after one date but overall, it was all in fun as long as I had protection. These days, people are killing and stalking one another after one-time stands, or when they failed to convert a one-nighter into something meaningful. Don't believe me, watch Snapped or one of those shows on the ID channel. I'd like a LTR but my ex scared me in many ways. He cheated, had a child when I wasn't pregnant, placed his hands on me, and told as many lies as he felt he could get away with. So...any suggestions for places to get back into the swing of things? Right now, I've got a fierce crush on someone at school who is half my age and the thought of dating someone younger is cracking me up. Yep, lots of emotions and history going on here.
It's certainly a harder gig when you get older. You have to change with the times. I had been pretty anti-technology for a while (being the old romantic and everything), but online dating to me is still a way forward. I know many 30+ and above that have met partners this way. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith to try an approach that historically seemed seedy. Yes, you'll have to filter out the crazies and the married people on there, but that's certainly an option. There's nothing wrong with going for someone a lot younger. If only for you to get back in the swing of it
Not in my 40s yet and been out of the game a long time now, so I don't know where to go exactly. But I do know of places online that you can go to to meet like minded people for meeting up and doing whatever as a group. We found them looking for people like us and for things to do in our new city with the kids. I would be too afraid to do online dating, too much pressure etc. But if you go to these sites where you can join groups that do things you enjoy (they even have singles groups that go out together), then you've already got something in common with them and there's no pressure.. you get to know a lot of people at once, doing something you all like and you might connect with one of them while you're at it. So you're not only open to a relationship, but you're making friends and having a good time too. Way better than online dating.. and safer. Just a thought.
If you're above 40, you'll notice that it's harder to get a potential date in the real world. Most of the people you hang around with are already into fully committed relationships. It's even harder to get potential dates in a club. I doubt if you'll even go out searching for a date in a club. But online dating presents numerous opportunities for a potential date. Just be yourself, create a nice profile and you're ready to go.
Theo just posted about a new dating website that might interest you. RSD or something like that...I think you should check it out. If you use those sites you can be sure you are meeting someone within the same interest group as you and who knows, maybe could even make new friends even if the relationship doesn't go to the romantic level. I admire you for wanting new friends. I'm beginning to become a hermit. :-( Alone time is more precious to me than anything else. But I do a community service work so maybe that is why. From my own experience, I can tell you that volunteer work is very gratifying and you deal so much with people it will make you long to be 'lonely'.
I'm a 40 year old who plays video games, watches anime and listens to electronic dance music. I find that I have more in common with 20 year olds
It's weird that I didn't get to finish my comment and can't edit it. Anyway, I have more in common with younger people because of my specific hobbies, so I'm not really looking for someone my own age and I don't want to get married. I was in a relationship for 16 years. It sucked, so I won't be doing that again. I'm going to stick with short term dating and physical gratification. I just want to enjoy my life and not be stuck in a boring marriage out of duty. My ex got married and he's miserable. No thanks.
I went to CL a couple of months ago and boy, was that an "enlightening" experience. Everyone showing off their junk, a few ads that sounded too good to be true, and my conviction that the world is going to hell in a handbasket Anyway, I post an ad that lists my approximate age, interests and body type in the "Platonic" category. I get a hit but he wants for me to come to his house in the Hills. Really? And of course, being in a secluded house with a stranger is always comforting...just to discuss modern art.
Heh heh...been checking out nearby clubs this past week. May go to a bar, club, or a vape lounge...we'll see.
That's the thing. On top of being in school, I also have an internship (non-profit targeted to women, no dice there), and I volunteer at school (green living org.). There are a few ppl in my class at the same (not my crush, though I told him about for extra credit) org around my age but they're not single. Yep, there was a time when I loved alone time and my now ex couldn't understand it because he could talk non-stop. But now being a hermit is around the corner. I will check out the website. Thanks!
Physical gratification sounds nice and so far, a possible benefit of seeing someone much younger. I was with my ex for a long time also and when things got rough, he would always mention that it was easier to work things out instead of date other people. However, in my dating days there was a lot less headache. It's good that you have found a comfort zone. As I get closer to graduation and transitioning out of disability, hopefully I will find the same.
I have not had a relationship by choice for a while to busy working and kids. Now I am ready to have a relationship and would really like a younger person, the guys my age are not much fun. I think I will have to do the online dating club for the over 50 crowd.
LOL.. I don't know what CL is, but I'm talking legit sites that are for getting together with groups. Large groups.. some with hundreds or even thousands of people per group depending on what you like doing or what you're looking for and where you live. One off the top of my head is meetup.com. It's not for crazies lol.
While i think its probably harder to start a new relations the older people get, I dont think its impossible. I'm single and in my late 30's now and i don't have any problem forming new relationships. I think a lot depends on the individual and just exactly what kind or relationship they're looking for.
When I was in my 30's getting into a relationship was not a problem, but at that time people were more social than they are now. People did not spend their time on electronic devices playing games or on Facebook and call it developing relationships. People had to go where they could meet other people like work, now more and more people tele work, which is not bad but still does not give people the opportunity to meet more people face to face.
Age shouldn't really be a barrier when it comes to forming new relationships either. I think confidence will have a lot to do with it aswell, if your confident and outgoing then obviously that will also help.
Do you guys have a cutoff age as far as how old you will date? The youngest I would date is 18 and the oldest I would date is 50. I find 55 and older a physical turn off. There's a 65 year old man that keeps following me around and going to my usual shopping spots to look for me and he keeps asking me for my phone number. I'm very turned off by his white hair, blue veins and his golf hats and cane. Another guy hit on me two months ago who was 72 years old. He had that old man urine smell. I'm 40 but look 30 because of good genes and avoiding the sun. My hair is still naturally black. What is it about my Madeon t shirt, my Daft Punk messenger bag and my big pink headphones that makes these old codgers think that I'm age appropriate for them? The 65 year old told me "I like electronic dance music too." So I asked him to name an electronic artist and he named Devo. As in Devo from 30 years ago. If these are the type of guys that like 40 year olds, I'm staying single. What am I supposed to do with a 73 year old? Change his diapers at Ultra Music Festival while he goes on about how the music is too loud? I asked a friend of mine if I seem old or come across as old enough for these guys. She said "Hell, no. Old men are just greedy. They would still hit on you if you were 19." So, do you guys have a dating cutoff age? I don't want to date someone who needs me as their part time nurse and diaper changer.
OMG the post above is too freaking funny! And I had a bad day too, LOL. Sorry...let me roll on the floor a little longer. Okay. I'm with you on the youthful appearance. The only difference is that I could easily shave 10 off my real age until I recently got sick and lost a ton on weight. I looked like a Shar-Pei (those wrinkly dogs) but now I'm trying to get toned and lose a few. Back to your ? How old is too old? Truthfully, after my last relationship I predicted there would be someone way different. Much older was a factor I was prepared for, along with religious leader, serious nerd, or someone with a weird job like circus clown. Here are my old man crushes - Burt Reynolds Bernie Casey President Clinton Billy Dee Williams Howard Stern (b4 he married the last wife)
I'm sorry that you also had a bad day. I hope you're doing better today. I actually agree with you about Billy Dee Williams, but you know black don't crack. His looks are holding up pretty well.
