Hey guys, This topic might be or not be sensitive to some people but I just wanted to read your opinions about this. As a black person, this Asian girls were having a conversation and when they able to leave, one of them tripped and spilled her books and items all over the floor. They looked like they were having trouble picking all of them up quick enough and me being the nice person I am, decided to go help them pick up an item that was closer to me. As I inched toward it one of the girls immediately left all what she was picking and RAN to the item was about to pick and quickly picked it up before I could. I was honestly scared and just backed off leaving them to pick the items. I didn't give any eye contact because of her reaction, a huge shock to me and the friends around me at that time. After that event I was wondering if it was racism, stereotyping, or experience?
Maybe she was just scared a stranger would get her stuffs??? Unless they say anything against you, I don't think you should think of it as anything racist. I usually trust no one about my stuffs unless I told them to look out for it. I know you are only trying to be helpful by picking up her stuffs but did she know you are trying to help her and not taking the items? Unless she knew that, I guess she's just wary a stranger might get her things away.
It could be any of the three. You never know what's happened to someone or how they were raised that will cause them to act a certain way. It would bother me too, but just forget about it. I find what she did rude (based only on what you've said.. did she look afraid? annoyed? rushed?), but you say you're a good person and in the end that's all that matters.
I agree. Many people are way too overprotective with their stuff. I think they just didn't want a stranger to pick her things up, but she could have been "nicer" by at least saying "don't worry, I got it". I wouldn't worry about it, don't over think it.
There is an old saying that says even though you can't control the situation, you can control how you react to it. I think you did the right thing by trying to help and again by simply backing away when it became obvious they didn't want your help. You also did the right thing by not making a big deal about it at that moment. It is simply not worth it. You know that you are a good person, I am sure your friends know that as well. That is what matters. Let this go and be proud of yourself for who you are.
She probably was just embarrassed. I know when I drop something or an item or two, I make sure to quickly scoop them up before anyone else can come over and help. It draws attention. Who knows, what if someone didn't see you drop anything? And then when someone comes over to help, it draws attention from everyone. As far as asian culture goes, I remember seeing a reality show where a few Japanese girls had a major confrontation with a tow truck driver in Miami. The guy is a big dude but short. And he had like a Goomba goatee or facial hair of sorts. When he towed their car, they immediately thought he was trying to steal it. Or something. But these girls didn't speak English and that made the situation even worse. And more people got involved including a waiter from a nearby restaurant who had to translate for them. Also one of the ladies had to be about 38 years old, and she was sporting a Pikachu backpack. Which in itself was strange. Meanwhile, the tow truck guy was stressed out because if he didn't get the tow, the tow truck business he worked for was already hemmoraging money. And he really needed the tow. So in the end, maybe she didn't speak english, maybe she was embarrassed, or maybe she was just being judgmental. Who knows. Since she didn't say anything. Also lots of girls don't trust boys these days.
It is hard to say what she was thinking at the time. I have had similar things happen too when I tried to help somebody pick something up. It may be that she didn't want a stranger touching her things or it could have been any of the things you mentioned. Some people also feel that they troubled you when you pick it up. There was a lady that had dropped a couple items in front of me. When I went to help her she told me "It's ok I don't want to bother you, I can get this. You don't need to help." But being that we will never know what others are thinking unless they tell us, I wouldn't let it ruin your day. Just know that you are a great person and that you tried to help. If she didn't want the help, at least you tried
I think it would depend on the location more than your race. To Me, if I was in the big city in the middle of a busy place, and out of the Blue some person came up to try and grab my stuff, I would be a little bit worried, regardless of the ethnic background of the person.
As an African American I'd like to say, relax. As many of the posters pointed out, her reasons could have been triggered by any number of things, from the reasons you pointed out to none of them. What if she thought you looked too old to be bending down like that or maybe your skirt was to short and she didn't want you to reveal yourself by bending over, or maybe she had something embarrassing written on the cover of the book that she didn't want anyone to see. Either way, if you spend your time looking for racism in everything, eventually you will find it and then what? You reacted appropriately by first attempting to help and then graciously backing off. You can't and won't make everyone like you, so don't spin your wheels too long on this one.
I can honestly say that I might of acted the same way. I can also tell you that it would of had nothing to do with race. But everything to do with the fact that you are total stranger. Sorry, to have to say this but in this day and age you don't know who you can actually trust. I have had parents lecture their young kids for saying hello to me while walking down the street or in a store. I can't take it personally because these people don't know me and they are right in telling their kids not to be so trusting around a stranger. My advice is that you should also not take this personally probably had nothing to do with you race but everything to do with the fact that she just didn't know you so she didn't think she could trust you.
It could of been stereotyping she might of thought you were going to take it I wouldn't pay to much to things like this there is still a lot of closed minded people the best thing to do is ignore it and let it go
I don't think it was racially motivated. I'm a half white, half Hispanic woman and I just look like a normal mom walking around Walmart with my reusable shopping bags, but an elderly man dropped his change at the checkout line and as I was reaching to pick it up for him, he kind of freaked out and started grabbing all his change before I could pick it up. I don't think it was racist, I just think some people are not comfortable with strangers touching their stuff. Or maybe he thought I was going to steal his money right in front of him.
As the others have said, I don't think it was racially motivated, although there may have been an element of that in the mix. It was more likely paranoia over strangers touching her things, and the thought that you may steal something. These days, you never know. As nobody walks around with 'psycho' or 'theif' tattooed on their forehead, it's difficult to know who you're dealing with. Don't take it personally, and please don't let it prevent you from offering help in a similar situation.
I hate hearing stuff like this. I can say it could be any of the three. Let's start with experience, maybe they haven't had the best experience with black people. Maybe they felt scared of the unknown. Hmmm, racism, now that I think about it, it may not even be racist, it could just be the experience and stereotyping. They could have thought you were going to steal her items, which I think is crazy, because why would you still and be so obvious about it! Sometimes lending a helping hand gets harder and harder each day. I know I would have been highly offended, but I tell you, that try to brush it off, because racism and stereotyping of black people still exist no matter how much we try to say it does not!
I've found many elderly people are suspicious of or untrustworthy of young people these days. They think the youth generation is a cesspool of criminals, slackers, and druggies. So older people don't trust anyone who isn't their own age I've found.
It could be that, or it could be that she just doesn't know you and was uncertain of what your intentions were. I wouldn't automatically go to the race card. You won't know if that was reason unless you spoke to them or heard them speaking about you. I wouldn't dwell on it. You know you meant well, and that's all that matters.
It could be that she was robbed in the past and just got scared that you were going to steal her things. I don't think it was race related. I have had some people do that to my white boyfriend too. Some girls are just afraid of men too. Could be a bunch of reasons.
I think that she was just too paranoid regarding her stuff, because even if you have the best of intentions, she can't read your mind, so she was just being cautious. Don't let this simple incident bother you.
