If Prevention Is Better . . .

Many of the stresses associated with depression are ones we think we can cope with, but then more pile on top. I also think the unrealistic expectations of society contributes to this, so prevention is better than cure, but often people hide it and try to deal with it.

I do try to avoid stress, but there are days the Universe seems to throw everything at you in one go. Sometimes you can't avoid the inevitable and you learn to cope with things painfully.

 

I understand that stress is definitely a trigger for depression and hope that I can write this so that it doesn't come across as sounding sarcastic because it's not intended to be: I would love to avoid stress, but that is completely impossible, therefore, that advice would do me no good. Better advice would be to seek out something that you could reasonably fit into your schedule that is a stress reliever to help combat depression.

Here's what I mean: I am a student and I take it very seriously. I'm working on creating a new career for myself and the only way to get where I want to go is to go to school. My number one stressor: school. If I was to avoid that stress, I would drop out, not get the degree I'm going after, not get the job I want, and owe a huge amount of money with nothing in return.

My number two stressor: Money. If I don't work, I have no money to pay those bills. If I drop out of school to avoid the stress, I still have to pay for it. See where I'm going here...Sure, I could quit school and find a job doing something else, but there is still a snowball effect that would, probably, make the stress much more worse.

My solution: figure out what I can do when I feel the stress really building up. For me, it's baking. It can be something as simple as chocolate chip cookies, just the time in the kitchen takes my mind temporarily away from the worries of assignments and schedules. Everyone has to find their "thing," Stress is, unfortunately, a part of life because life is hard. But, that doesn't mean it isn't manageable.

 

Avoidance is big in many cases. Our choices often lead to the things that hurt us and instead of putting the blame on everything else, we need to take responsibility and learn from it. It's not always the case though.. as someone else said, sometimes the universe just throws everything at you all at once. Or as the other poster said, sometimes avoidance is impossible. That's why in ALL cases, it's important to look at things with a different perspective. Instead of looking at how awful things are, or how imperfect one's life is or how stressy a certain situation is, everyone needs to stop focusing on the negative and start looking for their out.. or their goal.. or the end result.. or be thankful for what they HAVE. I truly believe we choose our moods and how we view the world. And I have spent many years depressed and wasting away thinking it was just something that happened to me and I couldn't do anything about it because "omg chemical imbalance.. out of my control!"... but no.

 

I absolutely agree with much of what you said, but I want to call attention to your example briefly:

If you're staying out late to avoid her, that may cause MORE issues. Yes, you're avoiding the actual bickering, but you're also likely to cause even more problems by avoiding her entirely. You may find better success in attacking the problem, resolving it, and then being able to avoid the triggers that cause the bickering in the first place.

 

I fell stressed when I have a lot of things I need to do that are not yet completed. So I try to avoid it by making lists and checking them off. Then when the bigger things happen in life that are out of my control I at least feel like I have a measure of control over my life and it helps calm me. So thanks for the reminder I need to go do my ironing! lol

 

The thing I’ve found most effective in the long run is functional pessimism. In other words, imagining the specifics of a worst-case scenario, then trying to find ways to prevent, avoid or work around such a scenario. So I guess I’m more confrontational when it comes to my triggers. Sometimes it does stress me out more, but that tends to be temporary because I remind myself I’m focusing on creating solutions.

 

Listen , I know that you mean well but clinical depression (as opposed to just being a bit down in the dumps) isn't like that at all. You can't just "avoid" it. It is often the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain and is more often than not beyond our control. Look at it logically, would anyone really choose to be depressed? Why do some new mothers experience post-natal depression? It's because of the change in hormones, not because they can't pull themselves together.

I've been living with depression for over 20 years now and believe me, I've tried everything under the sun to try and feel better. The only thing that works for me is anti-depressants, which work by helping the brain to make the correct amount of neurotransmitters. I am more than happy to discuss this.

 

I think avoiding stressful situations is easier said than done but you're right it doesn't change the fact that it's probably the right way to go about it. Some people might find themselves stuck in certain situations at some point and it may cause them to stress without much options but in situations like this I think the best thing to do is to just find a way not to worry or stress too much despite the hardship.

 

Honestly, I think that it is just a matter of being informed about depression. It is way way easier said than done to say that instead of allowing yourself to get depressed, you're just going to take preventative measures in order to avoid it, for those who don't quite understand that concept. Most people think that depression is just something that happens, and that they don't have any control over when a bout of depression hits them, unfortunately. I feel like chemical imbalances are a result of stress and unhappiness, and prolonged negative thinking. If more people understood this, I feel like we'd be a lot more equipped to prevent depression fro happening in the first place.

 

I seriously wish this was the case - I've tried every trick in the book to try and do without medication but it's just not happening. So I would say that I take medication in order to avoid becoming depressed.

 

I totally agree and was thinking along the same lines. I admit I almost laughed at first because I thought if someone is trying to avoid bickering with their spouse and do it by avoiding their spouse they're likely setting a time bomb. Might be best not to think about never going home again if you've started that.

Actually, I think avoiding stress is a wrong approach. While there may be some situations you can avoid most times things have to be faced sooner or later. Better to figure out if there is a way to alleviate stress without avoidance and also to find ways of dealing with stress that work for you.

 

I agree. If there is such a thing as a chemical imbalance, I believe it's caused by depression rather than the other way around (we screw with our chemicals every minute of every day lol) and depression is practice.. just as coming out of it is. Or it's messing with ourselves in other ways I won't mention because people get offended when they think they've caused it.. they want to believe it's just something that randomly happened, when it is NOTHING to be offended by. There are many ways to end up with it.

You can't just want to be happy and expect to snap out of it, but that's not impossible either.. I'm practically that story, once I looked deeply at myself and what I wanted (of course there's a bit more to it that that). I didn't have fake depression lol, I know a thing or two about it myself. Everyone believing what we've always been told about depression does not make it true. Human beings aren't weak. Not by a long shot. We're told we are though, so I guess it's true.

It's hard as hell until you find your switch.. but the switch IS there. Nobody can convince me otherwise.

 

I understand what you are saying, since that has been your experience. I have had many many bouts of depression in my life too - was suicidal. I went to the doctors for it, and they just wanted to put me on medication. Luckily, they assigned me a therapist too, because my surgery understands that the mental work comes fist, which is definitely a clue, I feel. The therapy was not all that good though. But I managed to pull myself out of my depression by changing my thought patterns. Few people understand that thoughts are energy. They effect the chemistry of the body and brain. The brain is always changing with our thoughts, creating new pathways that set, and then become habitual thought. Our body responds to this. Change the attitude/thought, and change the circumstance. It definitely works. But it takes the mental work, which people are not always aware of.

 

Wait. You guys saying that chemical imbalances are caused by bad thoughts rather than the opposite -- do you really believe this, rather than believing the systematic medical and scientific evidence?

But to the question in the beginning: avoiding stress is good, though I'm not sure that it can be seen as a real prevention for depression, at least for a lot of other health problems (such as heart attacks, for instance). Also, exercise. Whoop whoop.

 

I didn't say that.. I said there are many causes and that is absolutely one of them (although nothing as simple as just "bad thoughts" lol). And science never covers anything quite so neatly. If it did, nobody would have depression anymore.

There are a great number of people enjoying placebo effects from their drugs. I'm all for the placebo effect.. the brain is a very powerful thing (hence my comment about human strength), but when you're gulping down other nasties with that placebo effect, it's not the best route to take. I wonder how many people aren't actually depressed, but getting drugged anyway? Many. There are a zillion people out there and all will have different reasons. Depression is real, I don't deny that.. but it's not as concrete as everyone wants to believe and I still think we're going about it all wrong. And it's definitely not something everyone should be medicating.

First world problems. The world sucks for many, especially when we're living in a way that denies our true selves, which most people are.. but to treat most depressions the way they do, no matter how long it goes on for, is irresponsible. I blame the doctors btw, not the patient who is told they are a weak prisoner to their fragile mind.

You'll have to point me towards the proof of the chemical imbalance, let alone what actually causes it... not that it doesn't exist by now, it's been a while since I looked into it. You'd think doctors would have less a "hope for the best" prescription at the ready though. Like something that actually hits the elusive imbalance head on instead of firing away at will in hopes of getting lucky and causing a mass of other issues in the process.

 

Aaah.. Fair enough, you've caught me there, I have simply been repeating what friends and acquaintances and internet strangers diagnosed with depression and a tad exceeded that people told them to "just get over it already" told me. Upon further research, it seems that "chemical imbalance" is a way of dumbing it down (

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), or a "part of the question" slash theory of what composes different mental illnesses. But then again, the brain is a funny place, though we don't tell schizophrenic people to "just get over it", either.

I don't know if I can say I blame doctors for the way things are, giving medication and all. On the other side, we can as easily say that we can blame therapists, who focus on "curing it from inside", but who never quite cure you either -- and when they do make progress upon the "letting it go" of the patient to make the patient feel better, I'd say there is also wrong with this, this individualistic way that everyone has of fixing their own problem through self-analysis rather than trying to fix society large problems (which would probably solve a lot of stress induced problems, and raise the happiness level of everybody in it).

And blame the silly self-help books that spout the same trite without offering any tangible life-long solution, just some feel good mantras for desperate people.
Though that will also be accounted for by the placebo effect, I guess.

 

Also, thoughts can be measured. They carry a certain frequency, which has an effect on your body's overall chemistry. Let's not forget that a habitual thought pattern is just a thought that you think over and over again, and the brain actually changes - as far as pathways - to keep that habitual thought pattern going. *cough* Law of attraction*cough* You must consciously be aware and change those thoughts. The brain will change with those changes. The body is a computer. Computers do not do anything that you don't tell them to do. Of course, if you are not aware of how a computer works, you're going to incur viruses and setbacks, until you learn how the computer works, so that you can input the correct information, in order to get the results that you are looking for. But of course, there are many factors that would qualify as 'input.'

As far as therapy, I don't feel that other people can cure you. It is up to YOU to cure yourself. Other people can only assist you in getting there. I do feel that science helps us to understand this computer, but the complete story certainly is not there yet.

 

Just get over it. I cringe when I hear it. I feel for anyone dealing with such insensitive people. I know I probably come off as one when discussing it here..? But I don't think the realities should be avoided so people don't get offended. I don't know when it became so taboo to question depression, but cracking it open is far more important and it's not to insult anyone. I find it a fascinating topic; especially since I've been on both sides of the depression fence now. Sadly, you have to be on this side to finally see how simple it really could have been because no, it's not simple from the other side. Not by a long shot. I suffered every day from it, mentally and physically, it was very real. Then I found my switch and I wish I had seen it sitting there in front of me that whole time. And as Dreek mentions, in retrospect, I was "programming" myself.

Thanks for the link,.. I have seen that. I get very uncomfortable with the whole "genes" explanation for anything. It means you may be more susceptible. It may predict your world view, as it said, and how you deal with your depression.. not that it's unavoidable or impossible to fight. Many doctors like to shrug off much of what is deemed genetic, like it's just something that happens to you and nothing can be done, so here's your bandaid.... that bothers me a lot. People tend to accept the things that go wrong in their bodies when genetics are spouted.... so dangerous.

And I blame a lot of things lol.. number one - denying who we really are. As we evolve, we get further and further from ourselves and many have a hard time catching up or wanting to. Many are forced into lives that don't suit who they are or keep them beneath themselves. Even if it's what they've chosen themselves. Totally normal to get dragged down by that, but we're told we're not completely human for it and need to be fixed. We all have to be the same person. This perfect, happy, successful, extrovert being that everyone sees us as, for some reason, but which nobody lives up to without meds (and never then either.. I don't know how many people I know on antidepressants who are far from "fixed"). Depression is human. Not being happy is human. If you feel it, it's human. And yes, you can reprogram all that. I blamed the doctor for the person choosing meds.. nothing more. It's not like they have all the answers

 

I don't think it's "taboo" per se to talk of it, I think people just try to shut down the ignorant and rude way people dsmiss it -- precisely by talking a lot about it.

Though yup, I get what you mean in general. And it is not unnatural to have a wide range emotion -- I've been following this course, Science of Happiness, on edx.org, and they make the point that bad emotions are essential to our lives, but to have a good quality of life, we should have a ration of 3:1 positive to negative emotions, with most people averaging 2:1 and depressed people, 1:1 or lower. It's fascinating in a way.

Here's the ratio test, for anyone interested:

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Though on another note I'm not sure if "human" would be the right way to talk of depression. Animals get depressed too, don't they?