I have a friend who has anger management problems. She is the kind of person who is very kind and nice but once something gets her angry you can not believe it's the girl you knew. She utters any word that will come to her mind, breaks, things and to some extent even threatening to kill. Being a friend I have tried working her through anger control, even setting her up with a psychiatrist but it's all in vain. What anger management techniques would you recommend?
My best advice is just to tell her to try and walk away from the situation or simply ignore who ever is bothering her. If that does not work then look for a new form of anger management counseling. Maybe suggest she gets out of the rough environment, practice on mediating, working out or invest in a hobby to rid her of stress.
I think those are good suggestions especially that one of investing some of her time in her hobby. She loves swimming and am sure while she is out there having fun in a pool in one of her bad days it might help her.
The best way to maintain your anger is by doing meditation and yoga every morning. Taking deep breaths 5-6 times at a time also helps in relaxing body and soul and reducing anger. I always speak in a calm tone irrelevant of the person's tone standing in front of me. I have helped lot of my friends and relatives in controlling their anger.
I had a friend like this but hers was alcohol related. In the end I didn't want to be her friend because although she was nice when sober she was frightening when she had been drinking. The awful thing was she couldn't remember how horrible she had been at the time. She had two children who were taken away from her permanently and was supposed to go to counselling but she would always make an excuse because she said she didn't have a problem. I think people with any kind of serious anger issues should seek help no matter what the cause as there is usually some deep rooted problem.
As someone who has developed several techniques for coping with angry family members, I would like to stress that when your friend becomes angry....simply take yourself out of the equation as soon as possible....especially if you experience problems with anger as well. No need to fuel the fire. There is a history of chemical imbalances (Bi-Polar Disorder, Schizophrenia) in my family, as well as substance and chemical abuse issues...all of which contribute to anger in general. I used to try to act as a buffer and mediator, trying to bring some sort of resolution to the conflict which only turned the anger towards me. Being a non-confrontational person, I found that simply speaking in a calm voice with relaxed body language is very helpful. I attended a workshop to better help me cope with family members who suffer from anger issues, and learned that I needed to leave the conversation in order to not be involved in it. Make sure that they seek proper medical treatment. If they are a danger to themselves or others, residential treatment and counseling might be a good route... Until they learn what triggers their anger and learn coping mechanisms, they will continue to suffer and make others suffer as well.
You don't need to maintain your anger. It should be controlled right away for ut yield to more disastrous effect. I know that the title is only misworded. By the way your friend is nice and kind but when she gets angry she would become like the "incredible hulk". She is sick. She must see a good psychoanalyst to treat her tantrums every time she gets mad.
