DontPayFull Psychiatry - What Should I Tell Myself Over-&-Over before/while Having Fun?

Basically, `What's wrong with me, Doc?' (And why do they give you a "`" pointing downward-right but not one pointing doward-LEFT/UPWARD-right?

... and I'm aware that people will go ahead and give some smart-aleck answer like, "Yur askin them kindza questions (kindza questions u shud ask yer psychiatrist) in a public forum," without even reading my 'lamentation' below. The best we can do for those responses is ignore them--maybe reporting them if they're too short or too wrong--and maybe give their reputations a 'disapprove.')

That's why people see doctors---to find out `What's wrong with them.' But I have trouble believing doctors, on account of them diagnosing patients as though the patients have 'NO CONTROL over their internal processes' (you're probably thinking "Of course we have 'no control over our internal processes!'" And--for the most part--you're right. But we have a kind of control over brain-processes!)

The 'kind of' control we have? a 'training' kind. We can make the brain do what it needs to do to deal with the information we give it.

There's a lot of brain-study (neuroscience) required to understand that---some basic questions like 'what is the human-brain's goal? the purpose for which it (in my case) sustains my survival?'

(That's not exactly what I'm asking here---that was just kind of a tangent off the explanation that 'doctors find out what's wrong.')

What I'm asking is (getting back into 'my case') 'If my brain & I are powerful enough to go through near-death & vegetable-status (coma) & total-paralysis and (with therapy) become the near-fully functional person sitting here typing this thread-starter, why do people hate me so?'

(They don't hate me with a fiery passion, but they don't care for me enough to inconvenience themselves for me ... the example on my mind now: at my local "where everybody knows your name"-establishment, a girl asked me to sit with her & talk. I 'opened' with my "I think that's what wrong with me"-lament, and maybe I was expecthing her (a 40-something grandmother) to reply with something like 'I understand, but good stuff happens too!' and then to go on and talk about the latest good thing she's been thinking of. But she didn't. She just looked at me for a second, and then got up & sat somewhere else & started talking WITH THEM )

I think they hate me so because my habit is 'finding out how THEY are wrong' (why I call myself a Doctor), and people don't want to deal with how wrong they are (which is why doctors prescribe medicine, treating people as if their problems are 'something other than themselves' ... because Who wants to PAY a man to tell them how THEY are causing their own problems?).

There's also the 'aura' I carry, that comes from "existing in defiance of modern medicine although I'm a miracle of modern hospital-care (FUNDED by modern-medicine, no?)" The subconscious motto/mantra/belief that 'I shouldn't exist; but since I DO, here I am!' makes "spending time with me" an unattractive prospect ... like "going to work" when you just wanted to hang out.

So how do I get that out of my head? What mantra do you think should replace the one I've got?

 

To sorta summarize: Is "I shouldn't exist; but since I DO, here I am!" a bad thought to think about oneself?

And if it IS bad, what 'thought to think about oneself' should I replace it with?