I get a newsletter from Catholicmatch Institute: I think ... well, I'm sort of 'on the fence' about online-dating. In theory, it should allow us to efficiently take care of the whole relationship-mess so we can spend our time on things that "really matter." But then, that's assuming our bodies are just 'machines to do the will of our conscious minds'; and as much as that's the way it should be, that's not how it is. Our bodies long for the security that being-close-to-our-provider/providee brings, and they can't KNOW that without the 'romantic meeting' that Miss Lee dreams of! Maybe such a meeting would lead to a heartbreaking divorce (as such romance throws a cloak over the things that make a couple's co-habitation more of a prison-sentence), but the scientific-method of an online-match changes the fire of romance into the cold chill of a calculating-machine What do you think? (with which I plan to disagree, even if you agree with everything I just said )
So disagreeable, mythman! LOL! Anyway, I think the thing I take issue with in online dating is the security thing. You (using the general "you") see these profiles online but you don't know who's behind those pictures. It could all be a lie or a scam and could lead to heartbreak and possibly financial difficulties or identity theft or even kidnapping. It is all too easy still to craft an image in peoples minds of a person with a life of their own with some sentences. Personally, I'm keeping well away from the dating world. It's too scary for me.
Well, seeing as how I met my husband online, I have to disagree with you. It was the classic "online dating" story for me. I had broken up with a guy about a month prior and my friend set up an online (free) dating profile for me. I didn't expect anything to come of it, but of course I browsed around on the site. After a few disasters of dates, I stumbled across my future husband's picture. I clicked because well...he said he was a country boy and there was a truck in his profile picture! I clicked that I was "interested in meeting" him. He messaged me back the next day and we talked back and forth for a few days. That weekend, we went on our first date and the rest is history. We were married within 6 months and expecting a baby soon after. It might seem fast to some people but when you know, you know. He is the love of my life (am I getting too cheesy for you?) and he treats me better than I've ever been treated before. It just so happens that he created a dating profile too because like it or not, sometimes its hard to find people you're compatible with! You might have a little bit of luck if you like to go the club but if you don't, why would you want to go and try find someone that does like that scene? I definitely do NOT think that it takes the fire out of a romance. To be honest, I forget sometimeS that we even met online. Sure, we talked a few days before we met and I had a rough idea of what he looked like, but to me, our first date was a blind date and nothing more. He might have seen my picture too but he says that when he saw me in person is when he had his breath taken away. Online conversations only go so far. Its when you meet in person that the fire starts kindling. That was definitely true for us and two years later, its now a raging blaze. I like to say that I "clicked on his profile because he drove a truck BUT I married him for so much more!" Safety is of course a concern while online dating but you just have to be smart about it. Don't give away blatant personal details online and don't meet in a private place for the first few dates with the same person. I went on a few dates before I met my husband and never had any problems other than just not clicking with the guys. Is online dating for everyone? Heck no. Did I even think it was for me? Double heck no! Am I glad I let my friend set me up? Heck YES!
Even though I've never tried online dating, I very much like the concept of it. If I ever become single again that's definitely the route I'm taking, it seems like a very nice and slow approach to each person, you have more time to get to know someone and as an added plus you get to reach an incredible amount of candidates I don't think it "dehumanizes" dating, it's simply an added phase before "regular" dating, a very useful one.
Yeah, but with the online-dating you KNOW their words are 'not necessarily true.' In the rush of meeting in real life (at least for me), you don't have the presence-of-mind that comes with the delay between feeling & data-entry. Thinking about it, that sounds like the more-resonable path; but the rush of romance is something of an experience! Good for you! Maybe this is just me 'wishin` things were storybook-perfect'; if your life were a storybook, don't you think it would've been better if you first met your husband & his truck I.R.L. (WITHOUT having seen their picture online) and you THERE learned that you were both looking for relationships? Well, not really an "added" phase, but a 'different way of accomplishing it' (and it's efficient ... rather than being 'on the prowl' at RANDOM times in life, you can get most of your 'on the prowl'-joneses out during your time-off & be more-focused on 'good purpose' most of the rest of the time)---although that DOES take some of the 'surprize' out of life
I met my fiance online so I have to disagree. It is dangerous yes, but so is going home with someone after meeting them at a bar. I met my fiance on World Of Warcraft actually. (Don't judge me!) The whole story is kind of funny and sweet, but it is long. Anyone to keep it short, we ended up as friends who played together. Then we started talking on e-mail. Then text messages and instant messaging. Then web-camming. We did this for a year before we finally met. I fell in love with him for his personality first, though when I saw him I was NOT disappointed. Shocked me because of the stereotypes of gamers being creepy. He was not. He was gorgeous. Still is...anyway back to the point. I do not think it takes away from the romance. It is easier to express your feelings and desires in letters and web cam. I remember staying up all night talking to him sometimes. It almost feels like the thrill of a high school romance with all the notes and phone calls. It is exciting.
Honestly I rather meet a girl face to face at the movies or a mall rather than through some online dating service. People make things up about themselves on there. Pictures are legit probably but if they are a recluse and make up stuff about being social and into all sorts of activities and then I meet her its just a waste of time.
Congratulations! (I say as a method of biting-back my raging jealousy ) I agree that online-dating is not without romantic elements ... neither is arranged-marriage, speed-dating, or being fixed-up by friends (or -by a family of rock-trolls in the magical forest of FROZEN), but the good old 'meeting IRL & growing closer-&-closer'-method is FULLER of the romance, no?
Well I don't think so, I mean sure, online dating is not really romantic in the sense that you are meeting a bunch of people at once while the other person is meeting a bunch of people at once as well. I have tried very little online dating and what I did try I figured out it wasn't for me. But a romance could come out of it if you meet the right person at the right time, and then you meet offline and a romance could come out of it! I know a couple that met online and have two children now, they are a sweet couple!
I think that it can work very well. It's just a different way of dating. I tried it out myself and it turned out really beautifully. I was never looking for it. I just happened to meet a guy in an art forum, and we instantly had some kind of magical connection that kept growing and growing, even though we lived in different parts of the world. Then one thing led to another, and we have now been living together for two years. I think you can run into your soul mate anywhere in this world, especially if you are open-minded and try out new things.
I could hire someone to give me her body and call it "romance," but THAT isn't the 'thrilling chance-meeting' of old romance either. What I'm sensing here is that people are TOO IMPATIENT to do 'old romance' ... why take the time to catch-&-gut the fish when there's a whole section of already-caught, already-gutted fish out there! Right, that's not what I'm talking about: 'that' (the way you met) is just an update on regular romance, where you two met 'just doing what you do'; I'm talking about dating-sites, where you log-on SEARCHING for that 'romantic' connection (which you don't find ... you find 'what you're looking-for,' but "romance" is 'something better than what you can expect. )
At first the idea of online dating was not one I would like to follow up on. Now I have met several people that have met and married someone online or is presently dating someone they met online. I am not a romantic so it would be hard for me to say how I feel about online dating not being romantic. I am more concerned with the honesty of the person online or off. Character is important to me, there are so many people that just want to play games, online dating may be a way to sound a person out a little better than off line.
