I only tip when I go to the hairdresser, but for everything else, I don't really leave tips. It's not even common in our country to give tips to fastfood employees. You won't really see any tip jars over here.
Who the hell do people think they are to be telling other people to stay at home and cook for Themistocles if they don't have enough to tip or don't want to. THE MONEY DOESN'T BELONG TO ANYONE ELSE BUT THE PERSON WHO EARNED IT!!! People are such sheep, and you allude to this in your very first sentence, which was if you were born and raised in the US. The only reason you believing and adhere to this ridiculous social custom is because you grew up into it and were taught that it was the thing to do and that people who did not adhere to this standard were jerks. So basically people are to tip, or they are cast out as jerks socially. And since most people want to fit in, they will just tip even when they do not want to, which is a form of peer pressure. Not autonomy.
The only way to change it is for prices to go up, so that servers can be paid at least minimum wage. So, right now, you have some control over how much you pay for a meal by deciding what to tip. If servers were paid more by the restaurant and tips were no longer a thing, you'd be paying far more for your food than the average 10-15% tip costs.
No, I never refuse to tip, in normal circumstances. There have been a few times where I received poor service so I didn't tip. Otherwise, I do. The amount of tip really depends on the service, but I usually leave a tip in the 20% range. Waiters and waitresses work hard so I think it's appropriate to reward them for it with a nice tip if you can afford it.
I agree (except I think if you can't afford it then you should eat at a less expensive restaurant so you can afford a tip). This brings to mind another question. How do people define good service? As a former waitress, I've been blamed for everything from running out of the special to food being burned and everything else, none of which has anything to do with the waitress/waiter. I prided myself on being friendly and giving excellent service, but things beyond my control often cost me a tip.
Jackslivi, you don't need to apologize for not tipping in that situation. That was someone not doing their job at all. As much as I support tipping even if you received mediocre service because of how hard the job is, nobody has a right to be hostile to you. I would not want to pay any money at all in any situation where I was treated like that.
I have re-read a lot of the posts and for whatever reason I have to refute a few folks. I guess I might be a little older than most of the folks I am referring to because when I became a waiter it was definitely not an entry level job. It was my occupation. When other people were working 8 hours a day and 5 days a week and carrying home $250.00 or so per week, I was making that in a day. I worked for the same place for 15 years, but I had to work as a bus boy for the same waiters for 7 years before I could become a waiter. And even as a busboy I made more than most 9 to 5 people. Oh, by the way, the most I ever made per hour in wages was $1.00 per hour. It was the norm for professionals. Since then I have owned my own restaurants and hired my share of servers. Generally the ones who did poorly with the tips did poorly as a wait person. My best people made an above average living without griping about a stiff or thinking that they were servants. A good waiter knows he or she is in a servitudial position but is not a servant by any means. And they also know that if a stiff does occur there is generally a good reason. Many people do not tip because they believe it is included in the check. Say, people from Europe for example. The attitude a wait person might have i.e. if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out hurts a waiters overall personna and and believe me when I tell you,....the lady I call the food business will dump you for not treating her like a lady. Otherwise, she put me through college, bought me a house, and allowed me to start a business.
What country are you from? I'm always curious what countries have it as a normal thing and those that don't. It isn't common to tip fast food employees here in the United States. It is common to tip waitstaff servers. I always tip at the hairdresser as well.
Thanks for the great response to my posting! You made countless great points and I hope everyone reads this response. I don't think being a server/waitress is the job for everyone and it takes a certain person to do it. I never cared that I was making $2.43 and hour (the current wage for serving), because I was always going home with more money than I would have made in a regular 9-5 job. Some days I would leave with $60-$70 and some days I would leave with $200 or more in my pocket.
If it is a social custom in the country you are dining in, then yes, a tip is something that needs to be left. Servers work at a lower wage and they rely on tips for their earnings. There is a reason that fast food is an option for dining. If you don't want to/can't tip then go to an establishment where you will not have to do it - Arbys, Subway, McDonalds, Burger King, etc. It's not a form of peer pressure to tip a server for a SERVICE that they have performed for you. If you dine out and someone waits on you, then yes a tip is something that needs to be left. If you are eating in the US at an establishment that has a waitstaff then you need to tip, otherwise go somewhere else.
You know how "greedy and ungrateful" the wait staff is? Can you read minds? Have you met them? What a horrible thought. Just because it isn't normal to tip in the UK doesn't mean that it is normal in the US. If you eat out in a restaurant in the US then you need to tip the waitstaff. They work for lower wages for a reason. Tips are what they work for. If you can't afford to tip then order carry out or go to another restaurant. The waitstaff of most restaurants are full of hardworking and kind people that are doing their best to make a living, and it's hard when customers make that impossible.
The amount you make varies widely from restaurant to restaurant, in my experience. It depends mostly on the cost of the check. If you work in a nice restaurant with pricey menu items, you will make decent money fairly easily. If you work in a mid-range restaurant, and you upsell well, you will make decent money. If you work at Denny's or IHOP, you will not be able to make money through check averages- you have to run yourself ragged to make any money at all. The servers in these restaurants are the ones who are hurt the most by revenge "stiffing." I worked for two locations of the same chain restaurant at once. I was the same person, with the same uniform- serving the same food in both locations. Yet, I made significantly more in one location than another. Serving is a difficult job. Those who serve well deserve to make money. I don't advise tipping if someone is actually hostile. But, withholding tip money as a cost-cutting measure is unfair. Those of you who paid mortgages with tips should agree that the tip money is needed.
Why does it have to come out of our pockets either way??? Tip, or you have to pay more. You are paying more than you should be paying anyway, by following some social custom that is enforced through peer pressure, and people's fear of being seen as a jerk or a cheapskate. Again, I find it to be absolutely ridiculous. If you want to tip then fine, but saying that people must tip otherwise this or that, is absurd. Nobody else is entitled to my money. Same goes for other people.
I do not see anything unfair in what I said. It's a simple fact. If restaurants have to pay wait staff more money, they will raise prices. No one can force you to tip, so it is still up to you (unless you're in a large party and they include it in the bill). I don't really understand why you're so hostile about it.
I've never refused to tip. Once when I was young and unemployed , I tipped a waitress my last $2 just for bringing me 3 refill cups of coffee and a job application. I've had a lot of crappy jobs in foodservice and retail so I know how hard those people work.
That's a lovely heartwarming story, did that job application ever pan out? I feel that's when you should tip, when the employee goes beyond the call of duty, she didn't need to do that but she did and should be rewarded for it.
Nope, I ended up working at a cool nightclub on South Beach where people would say things like "Did you see Whitney Houston doing cocaine in the bathroom?" But I was grateful to the waitress for being kind to me and obviously I still remember her.
People should tip when they feel like tipping, and if the the thing that makes people feel like they want to tip is someone providing service that goes above and beyond, then great. But I have a massive problem with the notion that people need to tip anyway, and if they don't then there are negative consequences for the customer. That is not on and is not fair. There is nothing more entitled than that. Doing anything against your will is not cool with me.
The service would have to be absolutely diabolical for me to not leave a tip...and if I were in such an environment there's no way I'd even stay to the conclusion, so I most likely would be on my way out of the restaurant before the meal was served or after the first taste, or the first slight from the waiter or waitress...with an explanation as to why I left. I have never NOT left a tip, I have politely complained about food, the situation gets quickly resolved and I tip normally. What really STAGGERS me is anyone who would be rude to the person or persons who are handling their food, there's just no way I would do it. You can be angry or annoyed about something but still find a way to speak in a civil and polite manner, anyone who speaks to waitstaff in a hideous way, deserves what is coming to them..and believe me, I've heard stories which would make your skin crawl.
The only way I would refuse to leave a tip is if the server was absolutely horrible and rude. I always give 10%, I've never felt the need to refuse. In my cheap town, a lot of people think it's a very optional thing though and often won't leave a tip. When I was a hairstylist, I barely made anything ($5,000 last year) and had extremely cheap prices, I rarely ever got a tip. One lady came to me complaining about a $10 haircut and wanted it for $5, then wanted it styled too. I got sick of fussing with her and just gave her the services (1 whole hour). She left by looking in the mirror saying "I guess it's okay". She wanted me to do her husbands hair for free... Oh and did I mention she took her shirt off when I took her to the shampoo room, it was an all around awful situation. Hairstylists deal with the same rudeness that waiters and waitresses do, so I always make sure to leave a tip. I know what it's like to do a lot of work for an ungrateful customer and get no tip and little pay.
