I have worked as a server and have times that I did not get tipped because the people were jerks mostly. Once I had a table of kids that was so rude I just wanted them gone, they made a royal mess and thought it was funny that someone had to clean up behind them, of course no tip. A gently from a different table gave me a very good tip and apologized for their behavior although he had nothing to do with them. There have been times that I did not tip because the server was very rude and indifferent. If I wanted for ever to get something or never got it and the server acted like I was a royal pain in her rear no tip. A tip is earned not owned.
I agree, I think it is extremely rude to not tip at all. Even if I've gotten service that is not up to par with my standards, I still leave something as a tip. My previous experience working as a waitress seems to carry over at the years pass. I've had to deal with customers leaving small tips for no reason, and I've learned that customer's don't seem to understand why they should be tipping. It is a cost that is associated with eating out. If you don't want to tip your server than make sure you go to a fast food establishment, too many people don't understand that.
Always learning something new on this site. I didn't know that tips were additional to the wages in the UK, that's different. I wish that was how it was here in the US, but I don't see that happening for a long time. Most people do waitress/waiter work because they can earn more than the minimum wage (and it's cash, so they have money every day). Some days I would average at $8-$9 an hour (minimum wage is $7.25), and some days I would see numbers between $10-$13 an hour - all depending on how busy we were.
I always tip well, even if the service was lackluster. Having worked as a server myself, I think it's ingrained in us to watch servers in other restaurants and pay more attention to what they are doing and what is going on. Often times I can clearly see it wasn't their fault if something was taking too long to come out to our table, and I can see them going back repeatedly to check on our orders. I will also be the first one to tell you off if I am dining with you and see that you are trying to not leave a reasonable tip. I will go so far as to add more to the tip myself just so others at my table don't get away with treating the server like crap and screwing them out of a tip, especially if I am sitting with a lot of chronic complainers. Not only is it rude to the server, but it makes the rest of us look like jerks too. I may want to go back to that restaurant at some other point in time and don't want to be recognized as one of those guests who doesn't tip. Servers will remember you for stuff like that.
Well I hope that you don't eat in dining establishments with servers, because you are costing them their wage. A table that doesn't tip is a table that they waited on for free. Everyone works hard for their money. I do, you do, and so do Jane and John. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out. You aren't giving your money away for free, you are tipping for the service that was performed because you chose to eat at that particular place. If you don't want to tip, or don't believe in it, any fast food restaurant would be happy to have you. P.S. Servers can usually tell when someone will or will not tip before halfway through the meal. This might be why your "service" tends to not be "superb" because of how others encounter you.
If the service provided by the server is absolutely horrible, I would not tip. But that has never happened, it is more than likely that a high end restaurant or any restaurant, has taken the proper candidates into consideration. A business would not risk losing customers on hiring inexperienced or incapable employees. Their job is most likely done at minimum wage and they sometimes heavily rely on tips for a good wage. It is also commendable, knowing that they try to do a good job while being paid so little to do it.
I do think it should be optional, unless you have a particularly large group, I think it's a really weird cultural thing to begin with that it's seen as almost a kind of law when really a trip should be just that, something *additional* for exceptional service. However, most of the time I will tip at an average rate...there have been 2 times that I can think of where I didn't tip at all, for exceptionally terrible, beyond underwhelming service and plenty of times where I ended up tipping less than I was originally going to (so less than average) because of how the service went.
I have only ever refused to tip one time in my life because the service was just really bad. It was when I was in Los Angeles and I went to a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. The service was horrendous... They were rude, got our orders wrong, refused to come to the table when we asked for something. But this was extreme, I don't recall ever having refused to tip besides this time.
In the U.S. restaurant servers are usually only paid the minimum wage for tipped employees- $2.13/hr. This was half of minimum wage over twenty years ago, and has not been raised since by law. I worked in restaurants for many years, in several locations as I moved around during my twenties. No restaurant that I worked for paid more than $2.50/hr to its wait-staff. This meant servers were entirely dependent on tips to survive. I have also worked in offices and in the health care field. These jobs were hard, too, but waiting tables was by far the hardest job I ever had. A waiter or waitress has to be a good salesperson while spending long hours on your feet and accommodating a lot of weirdness. They are expected to be in multiple places at the same time. Imagine you are working a typical moment on a Saturday night: you are taking an order for a table of six. One person is vegan at the table, and another is gluten sensitive. They want to share an appetizer. You have to suggest something and work on upselling. Another person at the table is celebrating their birthday, and they have a zillion questions ("where were the salmon caught? Does "Pacific" mean China? I don't want the fish if it's from the South China Sea. Oh, it's aquaculture? Well, I'll try it but if it tastes too fishy I'll send it back and maybe have the chicken...") While taking an order at this needy table, you hear a "ding." This means the food for your table of two is ready. You need to run it immediately so it won't get cold. You glance at the table of two. They are running low on iced tea and looking around. Your table of four is standing at the front register, looking impatient. You can hear your tip getting lower and lower as they pace at the front waiting to cash out. The hostess just sat another table in your section. Finally, you get the order for the table of six, and as you are walking towards the kitchen, another table stops you to ask for a side of mayo. When you reach the kitchen, you realize the mayo has not been re-stocked so you have to get it from the walk-in cooler and wrestle with a brand new Fort Knox secure container. Don't forget to enter the table of six's order into the computer with all of it's special variations. And, know that you are out of glasses and make sure to push the Pinot because the bartender accidentally opened the bottle and it's going to go bad otherwise. Also, your back and your feet hurt. You've been working for seven hours straight. You have to use the restroom. You are starving but the manager watches on camera to make sure nobody snacks on French fries. Your cousin got married earlier that day, and you couldn't go because the restaurant has a "no Saturdays off, no exceptions" rule. But, above all, remember to smile! That job is too difficult not to tip. Any time somebody is basically pleasant and you get the food you ordered, they worked hard to get it there. Small mistakes happen. We're all human.
I hate tipping, but every time I do go out, I force myself to tip so I don't look like the stereo typical black girl who doesn't tip. Most of the time I don't eat in, I tip anyway, sad. I wish we didn't have to tip in the first place, the menu price is deceiving, because they do lower the foods in the menu just so you can leave tips. If you don't tip enough they give you a bad attitude, sigh. I don't have that kind of money people!
I have made it very clear how much I despise the whole automatic tipping thing that seems to be very prevalent in America. What makes me even more annoyed is that these businesses show an air of entitlement, in that I have heard that if people don't tip some members of staff will treat that customer badly the next time that they enter the establishment, which is just completely out of order and unjustifiable. Over in the UK, they have begun to add the tip onto the bill automatically which is also out of order.
If you were born and raised in the US, and live here, then sorry but you're a jerk if you refuse to ever tip, or only tip for "exceptional" service. Like Amanda K said, in most states in the US, the base wage for a server is less than $3/hr, so if you are stiffing them on tips every time, they are literally earning less than minimum wage. Minimum wage is not a livable wage to begin with, and on top of that because of your "beliefs" you are helping them struggle even more on their bills and rent. I think these special server wage laws are horrible and should be illegal, but that's the way it is right now. Also, it is an extremely stressful job. They are running around nonstop for 8+ hours a day. So you need to tip. Don't like it? Tough. I'm sure the servers like their livelihood being dependent on the whims of random customers even less. As the saying goes, if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out... period! Stay home and cook for yourself! The only exception is if the server is really rude or just horrible at their job. Here in California, we are one of the states where servers don't have that special minimum wage. They make the base minimum wage like everyone else (how it should be in every state!!), which just got raised to $9/hr. So if they get stiffed on tips, that still hurts them but at least they're making the $9/hr. That has led to server jobs being hard to get. They're no longer really an "entry-level" job. Virtually all server job openings require experience and owners are more selective about who they hire. So, if I get terrible service from a server, I think, how did they get so lucky to land this position, out of the +20 equally qualified applicants who would be grateful to have it? Then I do consider not leaving a tip, but usually I just leave a lower tip if that happens. Luckily this happens very rarely because most servers realize it is a good paying gig and don't want to do anything to mess it up. If your server is truly, exceptionally awful... Like worst of the worst... don't just leave zero tip, leave some ridiculously tiny tip, like $0.01. That will really send the message!
Yes indeed! I worked in food and beverage for 53 years in literally all capacities. I know when a problem belongs to the kitchen and I do not blame the wait staff. When a server is slammed, again, I do not blame the server for slow and less attentive service. But, when I see my food in some window and the waiter or waitress having a major BS session with another employee, or worse, sitting with a friend at another table and not paying attention to the rest of the room I get upset. I do not complain vocally, but I will go up and tip the cook just to chide the waiter and let the cook know that I do not blame him or her for the late, cold food.
I very rarely refuse to leave a tip, because I know that it's a huge part of what servers make and they generally try to make your experience as good as possible. The only times I haven't left a tip somewhere is when I am strapped for money and I can't afford to. Sometimes I have to save up for a few weeks to eat something I really like, sushi for example. That rarely happens though, so my waiter/waitress always gets a tip.
We have refused to tip once. I know I sound like a horrible person. Let me explain though. We always go to this Chinese restaurant because it is amazing. Every time we go there, the food is amazing and so is our wait staff. Except this one girl. (Don't worry, we have told the staff and they do not put us near her tables because I told them I will not tip her) Anyway, I am an exclusively breastfeeding Mom. My son was almost one. We went to this place and she seated us and was super nice. She got our order and then came back and I was feeding my son. She stopped in her tracks and took our food back. She did not come back out until 10 minutes later and the food look disgusting. She left as soon as she dropped our food off at our table. She did not come back at all. I was so upset. We left. Not paying anything. I felt horrible. We came back when she was not working and talked to the managers. They told us that she does not support women like that and that they will not ever sit us near her again. It was awful. Anyway, we always make sure that we tip. Even if we are broke. If we can not afford to tip, then we just do carry out. Makes it much easier because I know how waiters get the short hand of everything.
You shouldn't feel like you 'have to explain though.' It is your money. You should be and are free to do whatever you want with it. Since when were other people entitled to your money - extra money - the moment that hey bring you over a glass of water to your restaurant table?? I know that waitresses and waiters don't make much money, but instead of causing everyone else to have to pick up the slack, why aren't we leaning on those that control the money supply???? If I want to tip I will. But I am not going to be made to feel pressured to because it is a social norm. That is absolutely ridiculous to me.
Tipping isn't quite the same in the UK, so I rarely do. I almost never tip staff in restaurants, but do in other places like barbers etc. To be honest if I ever went to the US I wouldn't tip because I know how greedy and ungrateful most of the waiting staff are there.
I'll never not tip when I eat at a restaurant, just adjust the amount I tip based on the service I receive. I have no problem tipping more for a great dining experience and tipping less for a bad one. I think only one time was the service so bad that I didn't tip and actually complained to the manager about how slow service was and bad the food I was served was. I had to send it back several times because my steak wasn't cooked right at all. But other than that, I understand how restraunts work and how much servers depend on tips for their income. So other in rare occurrences, I'll always be sure to leave a tip.
I don't think I've ever refused to tip. I think if I've ever been in a situation where the service is so bad that I wouldn't want to tip, I'd just end my tab at that point and leave. I'd be more concerned that it would transfer to the food that I am eating and could no longer trust the situation. I have made it clear with my tip that I wasn't thrilled, but I don't think I've just refused to do it.
God no, never. I absolutely refuse to NOT tip because I know how hard the service people work and I understand that sometimes their tips are what makes their income. This especially goes for my boyfriend because he has worked in the restaurant industry for awhile back in high school and he has seen it from the server's perspective. Like you though if I got a bad service or one that doesn't require a lot of work on their part, I'd only tip 10%. If their service was bad, I'd tip the 10% and ask to talk to the manager. Because who knows, maybe they're having a bad day or something and it rubbed off on their work.
