Can Pets Help Losses?

Discussion in Pets started by ExpertAdvice • Nov 30, 2014.

  1. ExpertAdvice

    ExpertAdviceActive Member

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    Ever lost a loved one? Do you know someone who did and had a hard time dealing with the loss?

    Let's face it: we can't expect to "get over" something like that at all, but we do need to accept it when it does happen, so that we won't be thrown into a downward spiral of depression and self-harm. It's not the way the person who has gone, would have wanted us to live.

    So, what has come to my mind recently is that pets (dogs in my case) tend to be very faithful friends who, even though they are not able to converse in the human language, "speak" so deeply to the inward need for comfort and friendship, and can somehow tell when we do need their love and companionship.

    Have you ever experienced the much needed comfort after the loss of a loved one, from a pet?

    If so, what kind of pet was it, and how did it help you?

    If not, would you consider getting a pet to help you?

    pethelp.
     
  2. Sugarhill

    SugarhillActive Member

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    I've heard of people being comforted by a pet, but I'll admit, it sounds ridiculous to me. I could never equate the love of a human to the love of a pet. I think that might be one of my biggest beefs with pet owners, they care more about animals than they do people.
     
  3. MikeyPaine

    MikeyPaineActive Member

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    I'm pretty young, the only people I've really lost in my life that I knew were my grandmother and grandfather on my dads side. They were both very elderly even when I was born. It was sad when my grandmother passed away, but I had made peace with the idea long before she actually died.

    I recently (about 6 months) lost my dog of 10 years and it has been nothing but difficult. I miss him so much, and I hope I never forget him. Not only could I equate the love of people with the love the of dogs, but you can frankly, know your dog more and spend more time with your dog, than you can with most people you'll meet.
     
  4. Theo

    TheoWell-Known Member

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    Pets can be great companions and help people who have lost someone. It doesn't replace them, although it is something that can love you back and not argue. For some people it is companionship they miss and a pet can bridge that void, especially in older people or those house bound.

    However, some people use pets to replace people as companions because they like the control which is not healthy. These are the people who treat their pets better than humans, because they have lost their family and friends for whatever reason and are 'buying' affection.
     
  5. Denis Hard

    Denis HardWell-Known Member

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    Pets are not judgmental, their love is unconditional, etc, etc and some people can find comfort in that. However for me if I lost someone then pets wouldn't provide the solace I need. Instead I'd seek it elsewhere. In church.

    It would depend entirely on the kind of pets one loves. One woman I know, whose husband died tried to replace him or at least cope with that loss by getting herself a number of kittens. The choice [of pets] I believe would differ from person to person depending on their preferences. If I had to choose a pet then it would be a puppy.
     
  6. Dora M

    Dora MWell-Known Member

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    To be honest, I have always received more comfort from animals than from humans. I always talk to all animals that I encounter, and that includes the geckos in my house. Whenever I feel down, I go and visit my neighbor's horse for a chat. It's a beautiful creature that likes to put its head on my shoulder. I also talk to my aunts German shepherd, with whom I have a very special bond.
    I feel that only animals can fill the emptiness that I occasionally feel in my heart.
     
  7. wulfman

    wulfmanActive Member

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    Dogs give unconditional love. I think the most out of all animals. I have a family now but even then when I am down it is my dog that usually lifts my spirits. With human beings there is conflict at times no matter how much I love that person. Some stupid argument or conflict. It is not unconditional love you get from a human being . My little lab doesn't understand the intricacies of human emotion. Although he does have a read on me better than my wife at times about how I am feeling !
     
  8. Peninha

    PeninhaWell-Known Member

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    I've seen my parents do this, when I left their place they got a cat and they had it for about 8-10 years, so it compensated me leaving, but when the cat died it was something too sad for them and they never got another, they were really connected to the animal.
     
  9. primalclaws1974

    primalclaws1974Member

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    I have heard that a pet cancan help someone fill a loss. Usually this is a pet a couple shared while they were both living, or someone thought it was a good idea to get the surviving spouse an animal as company. I believe it is really an individualized situation if the pet really can fill a gap. If the person was a lifelong animal lover, it is a distinct possibly they will take to the pet, but if having a pet in their lives was rare, they might even learn to detest the animal's presence. If this was something that happened to me, I don't think a dog or cat could really fill in all the emotional needs that my wife had done while living, so it probably would not work for me.
     
  10. sidney

    sidneyWell-Known Member

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    Yeah, it has been scientifically proven that pets can help reduce stress, and comforting sad people is just one of the ways that they can help. I personally get comforted when my pet cat is near me and I pet him when I'm sad.
     
  11. xTinx

    xTinxWell-Known Member

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    It depends on the degree of pain and how receptive you are to the idea of being comforted. I guess it's worth hugging your pet in times of sadness, be it sadness wrought by loss, failure or rejection, or some other kind of pain you're having difficulty dealing with. I also find it comforting just watching our pets innocently live their lives.
     
  12. hayrake

    hayrakeActive Member

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    Absolutely, pets can help. They have great empathy. They can cheer us up; or, failing that, they often are willing to just sit by our sides in silent agreement with whatever we may be feeling. Also, if there is a hole in a life, they can fill it somewhat by their simple dependence upon us, as everyone needs to be needed by someone.
     
  13. Misslisa

    MisslisaMember

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    I've heard for pets helping to cope with losses, but I don't personally know that to be true as I have never had that experience. I would imagine that the companionship of a pet could help in dealing with a loss.
     
  14. ohiotom76

    ohiotom76Well-Known Member

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    They can certainly help, that is why they are regularly brought into hospitals to cheer up the patients.

    My family used to have three dogs for many years, and I can tell you, they were the only thing that kept us from all killing each other and being at each others throats 24/7 because otherwise we do not get along at all, and are constantly fighting. When they all passed away (which unfortunately happened within months of each other), things got really stressful among us for a couple years until we finally took in several stray cats.

    Now we divert our attention to them when we are all together instead of fighting so much.
     
  15. JosieP

    JosiePWell-Known Member

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    I would never get a pet for that reason, no. When I adopt a pet, it's to help them, not myself.. I rank that up there with getting pets as Christmas present or bunnies for Easter. Not that it doesn't work out, I just don't think holidays are the right time.

    I do believe pets are great sadness busters though. Mine have helped me through death before. My dog was the perfect quiet shoulder I needed when my last living grandparent died. She was very aware something was wrong and she was concerned. She never left my side and made me feel a lot better, it was so sweet. She was the last death I experienced actually.. and it was right around the time we rescued two kittens. One was crippled and sick and taking care of her was a good distraction from the sadness.. as was her cute fluffiness lol. Never had a cuter cat, so her making me laugh a lot also helped a great deal. Once she was better of course, I don't laugh at sick animals lol..
     
  16. maxim66

    maxim66New Member

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    Yes, I think that pets can definitely help people cope with losses. Not only would dogs be quite cheery and always happy to see you(Well depending on breed, training etc) but taking care of your pets can make you feel better, and act as a distraction from your loss.
     
  17. LitoLawless

    LitoLawlessActive Member

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    They absolutely can. I had a cat that helped me through a breakup that really had my heart hurting. I know it's not as severe as someone passing away, but I still felt a sense of loss. The cat was always there for me, almost as though she knew I was hurting, and just wanted me to be happy. I had to leave the cat behind when I moved and it really hurt my heart. I hope that she can make someone as happy as she made me during that time in my life.
     
  18. Victor Leigh

    Victor LeighActive Member

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    Oh yes, a pet can certainly help when you have lost a loved one. Remember that the pet, especially if it's a dog or cat, is very much a part of the family. So when you lose someone close to the family, your pet probably feels it, too. So the two of you can keep each other company and console each other. Pets have the advantage of being there all the time when you need them.
     
  19. pafjlh

    pafjlhActive Member

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    Yes, pets can help when someone is in need of comfort. Also, it seems that a pet seems to have a sixth sense when people are upset or in need of comfort. I have seen it in my own life. A few of my dogs seem to have known when something wasn't right and someone needed comfort. My cats seem to have that same instinct as well. Its as if the pet senses that something is wrong and just wants to be there for the person. For me a pet can be a great comfort during hard times. They seem to want to help soothe us, and no matter how bad we made feel, somehow the pet helps us to feel better. There have been a few times even when I was in tears I couldn't help but smile when the dog started to lick me or place their head in my knee.
     
  20. Peninha

    PeninhaWell-Known Member

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    What I've seen from my experience is that pets can help losses, but when they die they are a loss too, so many people don't want to get another pet because they don't want to suffer again when it dies.